Classroom Crushes
by I-Am-Your-Kobun
Summary: FIRST GRADER STUCK: Karkat's in first grade, and contrary to popular belief, it's not as easy breezy as many would have you believe. But thankfully, the hope of your crush, the blush inducing, John Egbert, doesn't seem all lost, when your new friend tells you they have an idea to help you get noticed. Imagine small children voices as you read, current ones willn't suffice!


**Fair warning: I fucking swear to god, I suck at editing. I hate rereading things when I'm uninterested in them, and I've done this once when I posted it on tumblr...and holy shit...idea storm. Okay, after edited copying and pasting, here we have the only chapter this thing will ever have, but, FIRST GRADER STUCK~ SOMEONE BE HAPPY URMAGURD.**

As John ran by, chasing after Jade, Karkat backed away, only, right into Dave. "God Dave, you're always in the way." Dave just stared at him with a little smirk. "Why do you always look at me like that? You're such a creep. Just go away why don't you? No one wants you right next to them anyway, especially with those stupid glasses."

Dave took his hand and led him to the crack in the had long ago discovered you could hide there when you needed to, and this was a time he needed privacy. He pushed Karkat in and blocked the exit with his thin frame. "I know you like my best bro." Karkat blushed "Wha- b-but I never said anything! How did you know?"

Dave put his hands in his pockets, the way his bro taught him. "Because…your face gets all pink when he gets near you and you suck at hiding it. You're skin is all grey and your face just totally turns." It deepened "Yeah, I forgot how stupid my face is."

Dave told him he had gotten him there because he had a plan to help Karkat tell John how he felt. "Why would I want your help? You're just a stupid dirt eater who doesn't know how to color in the lines. You can't even ask the teacher to use the bathroom without tripping!"

Dave just stared at him. "My bro says worse things than that. Just shut up and let me help you will ya?" Karkat glared at him and agreed. "Okay. What you got to do, is during lunch time, give him back his sandwich." He handed Karkat a plastic bag with a hammer shaped sandwich. "But what if he thi-" Dave rolled his eyes, not that Karkat could tell "He's not going to think you took it, because you're gonna rush in when the bell rings to hide it somewhere."

Dave slipped out just as the bell rang, Karkat ran into the building to hide it, but he had to act too quickly, and shoved it in a random place. Everyone came in sweating except for Dave who sauntered in last and sat down, skin dry of the disgusting water.

Everyone picked up doing whatever they had done previous to lunch. John ran back over to the fake playhouse, Jade was behind him, but she trailed over to the legos. John didn't seem too happy by that, and ran over to her, inviting his friend to the plastic construction. She shook her head and pointed to the red bucket. With a pout face, John walked back to the house and with sad, slow movements, began to play.

Karkat whipped around at the unexpected touch to his shoulder "Oh! You dirt eater! Don't sneak up on me like that, or else I'll have to kick you in the bulge!" Dave stared at him, no expression present. "Anyway…go talk to him. Say you'll play with him or something, or else he's never going to look at you."

Glancing back at the playhouse, Karkat cringed. He hated that place. But for John…? He'd tolerate it. With a sigh be walked over and mumbled a hello. "Karkat!" John gushed at his presence. "I can uh…play with you. If you want me to." Karkat had a hard time saying the words, he thought he'd choke up and just die on the floor. It was _SO_ awkward like this.

"Would you? Really? Thanks! You're the best!" Karkat blushed and stepped back a little as John dug through the costume box. "John, your butt is really… close to my face…" John looked back "I, uh, oh, sorry!" he scooted over and pulled out an apron. "Here!" he shoved it at Karkat, who sloppily took hold of it, as the musty fabric rubbed against his nose and made him gag.

"You can be my wife!" Karkat looked at him like he had just spoke to him in Spanish. "Wife?" John was silent for a second "Mom?" Karkat shook his head. "Well…like, a lady for people. I guess trolls don't have moms huh?" Karkat pulled on the apron. "I know what a girl is, but I didn't know they could be something else…"

Dave watched from the table, listening to his ipod. His bro encouraged him to "be cool", so he bought him an ipod with music, so he'd look the part, no matter how much of a squirt he was at home.

The teacher called for lunch and Karkat ran away, throwing the apron on the ground. He grabbed his kit and stood there unnoticed as everyone else, Rose, Jade, Gamzee, Kanaya, Equius, Nepeta, Tavros, Vriska, Aradia, Sollux, Terezi, Eridan and Feferi got their lunches and rushed back to the table. John stood there, frantically looking through his lunch kit. "My sandwich is gone! Awww… man!"

Karkat looked around when John looked over at him. "Why is it in the cubby hole?" Karkat picked it out and handed it to him. "What? The cubby hole?! What if someone smashed it?!" He looked down at it. Indeed. The hammer was squished a bit. "Karkat, you dumb pants peer! Look what you did now!" He thought to himself. "You ruined his lunch, all because you're stupid and weird and you don't know how to talk to him, and you need to learn things, because you're stupid. Stupid, stupid, dirt eater, that's what you are."

John smiled "Thanks for finding it though." he looked around. But instead of saying anything further, he walked away. Karkat plopped down on the floor. "Karkat, get off the floor please." Karkat scoffed "But I don't want to sit with those dirt eaters!" Except for John…and Dave, he thought to himself. "What have I told you about calling other children dirt eaters? Mr. Vantas, get over here and sit at this table."

Eridan glared at him, a smug look of "Karkitty is getting in trouble. You should do what she says~ nyeh, but you know I'll pick on you, so you might as well."

Dave was about to get up when Karkat got off the floor and walked to the table. Eridan looked the other way, his thinking of how above Karkat he was…it only made Karkat want to do more than call him a stupid or dumb dirt eater. Something even worse than a pants peer. And there was hardly anything to top that. Or so he thought. But when Eridan stole some of his food, he wasn't even going to try holding back. His small fist hit Eridan square in the glasses.

"He punched me in the face!" Karkat stood up "He stole my food and he acts like he's so much better than me! It's not fair! Why should I be the one to get in trouble?!" The teacher took his hand and drug his to the corner "Vantas. It is no act." she spat, turning on her heel and walking away.

He didn't even want to go. But he drug himself from his recuperacoon and got dressed. Sulking with his backpack, he waited for Dave to pick him up and they walked to school together. "Hey. Kitkat." Karkat looked over at him, a look of utter self loathing present. "The teacher…she's kind of-" Karkat cut him off "A dirt eater, a skirt peer, a…bugle muncher." he growled. "I was going to say a bitch, but I guess that works too."

He looked at Dave in shock "You're allowed to say that?" he shrugged "My bro has said it, so I think it's okay…" Karkat kept walking. For some reason, knowing such a word could fit his teacher so perfect, and even had been directed at her now, made him feel so much better. But nothing could fix the comment she had made. He still hated her, and that would never change.

When they got there, Karkat was put in the corner. She didn't consider his punishment from yesterday over yet. He sat there, slumped over and angry. That was how he was almost every time he came to school. Mutants didn't deserve to do so many things. According to his teacher anyway. He was counted as lower than humans. But no matter how angry he was, he mostly just wanted to cry, and this time, he wasn't going to fight it.

Red tears slipped down his cheeks and stained his pants with dark blotches, faintly pink, but you'd have to look hard to see that much. Karkat strained to hear John's voice over all the clatter. Jade dropped paint into Rose's pants and Rose got up, stomped over to her bag and got out her book. This was so frustrating. Almost as much as it was for Karkat. Like hanging out with a bunch of imbeciles.

"Can- out- please?" He couldn't hear all the words, but he felt someone grab his arm, and he turned his neck to see John. There was a weak smile on his face, buck teeth showing and his hair as messy as ever. "I asked her…you know, if you could get out of the corner to play with me, because no one else will, and she said yeah…you can stay, if you really wa-" Karkat stood up, a small smile creeping onto his face.

"I don't like this stupid corner. You're pretty cool John." a small attempt to flirt? So it seemed. He was kind of forced to go along with whatever John wanted, but he had wasn't like he had the worst ideas of all the children. Better than watching Gamzee sneak drinks of Faygo when no one was looking.

As John pulled a fake pie from the oven, the bell for recess rang, only, he never got a chance to avoid running around. John pulled him into the crack, and they hid there. "How do you know about this place?"

John rolled his eyes "Who do you think showed Dave where it was? He likes to tell people he found it, but when they ask, I tell them I did. Only because it's true…" he smiled and Karkat blushed. He could smell John, and his breath was slow, paced that way he guess, _and he was blocking the exit!_ "So, uh, why are we here?"

John leaned in and kissed Karkat on the cheek, but in a fit of embarrassment, Karkat accidentally turned his head, and their lips met. Wide eyed and heating up too quickly to describe, Karkat broke the kiss. "Did you not…I'm so…I, well, sorry…" John stuttered. "I like you! But…I just didn't think, it was like that, and you back at me…that's all…"

John nodded. "What's the thingy called?" Karkat looked confused. "When you speak like you're actually a troll, and it means your friends." Karkat perked up a bit "Moirails?" John nodded "Yeah! But, what's above that?" Karkat blushed even more, but it was okay, John was right there with him. "Matesprits, but that's kind of-" John kissed his nose and backed out with a little wave. "Sorry for scaring you…"

Karkat followed, and even though he was put back into the corner for the break, he was okay with that. Now he had that replay in his head. He though he might be a little small or rather, young, for this, but it wasn't like they'd done…_that_. He turned around, unnoticed by the teacher, and saw his smiling John. Yeah, school would be a whole lot better.

**Please don't be offended by my caps...(T-T) I am sorry. I try not to apologize, because that can just be...rather irritating~ I suppose? (O-O) I don't know. Thanks for reading, that much I can say! **


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